New Choral Music Advocate Diary #1

This is how I begin: sharing the unknown. During 2020, we all had moments where we felt completely lost, especially without choral music. Most importantly, without our family, friends, and hugs. I was lucky to go through it with my husband Ryan and two dogs, Sweet Pea and Olive, but I know not all people were that lucky. Lots of families lost someone during this pandemic.

We realized how much we treasure our routines. We also learned to ask ourselves a lot of questions and, hopefully, to listen to them. This post is not about the pandemic because we’ve had a lot of that, but rather to share with you what I know, and what I don’t, and how I plan to move forward.

Therapy, love, and hope

During this time, I worked with Rowan Hartin, an incredible therapist that helped me work through my feelings and questions. She always encouraged me to keep asking questions and looking for answers while guiding me through my discoveries. I treasure all the months of online therapy and look forward to continuing once finances get in shape.

The love part came from the incredible support of my family and friends. Ryan is my #1 supporter. He is always there to listen, ask more insightful questions, smile, and hug me. So did my friends and family away from home. Also, probably most importantly, the love I could give myself during that time and hope for everything to find its place was (is) very important.

Is this about new choral music or what?

Yes, I swear it is all related to it because if I had not gone through any of these, I wouldn’t have found this path that I am exploring right now. I struggled with my career as a composer because I am the kind of person that cannot do one task and just that. I admire those composers that only write music, but I need more.

I write music, and I do a lot more things to bring balance to my life. I learned that through conversations with Rowan. I am learning to embrace the uncertainty that my randomness brings to my life. God, that is hard!

During that time, I went back to school, worked at two part-time jobs (quit one when school got insane), and somehow got to create another chapter of HCCP, commissioning nine composers to write music for Chorus Austin, and Inversion Ensemble. Now I find myself on a school break, getting ready for the summer classes, and with no part-time job as I embrace back my full-time career as a composer and new choral music advocate. This will keep me very busy!

I have no map on how to be a new choral music advocate, but I am eager to build the path and find allies on the way. I hope to meet people who are incredible advocates. Creating something from scratch and working as a creative can be lonely—and financially stressful, but I am playing the trusting game here, knowing that what I am doing matters.

New Choral Music Society and more

Among the projects that I am working on to forge my path as a new choral music advocate is to continue the Happy Composer Commission Project, offering unique collaborations opportunities for choral composers and choirs to connect; continue writing music and words that aim to connect us deeper and in more personal ways.

Being a student is one of the things I do very well. I am looking forward to learning all that I can about new composers and their music. There is a whole community of amazing people out there that I am yet to know, learn from, collaborate with, and that’s exciting.

At last, one of my most ambitious projects is coming true! The New Choral Music Society is coming together, and I can’t wait to share more about it with you. For now, I can tell you that our mission is to advocate for the composition, performance, and promotion of new choral music by connecting choral composers with educational resources, professional opportunities, and other members of the choral community.

I don’t know where I am going, but I have more direction

I said this during my therapy sessions with Rowan. It might not make sense. It might not be grammatically correct—I am not sure. As Rowan invited me, I am embracing uncertainty and sharing the process as it is. A journey that is real, without answers, but eager to find them and create the path for more people like me to join or to follow.

I won’t promise one of these diaries weekly. I’d rather prefer to share it freely when I have something to share. So I’ll see you back in these diaries when I see you! Email me or text me if you want to talk about any of these 🙂

Hugs,
C.